Dirty Waste With Amanda Holden

Amanda Holden takes a trip down Waste Street to check out how wuch dirty waste can be recycled.

Dirty Food - Eating on Public Transport

Dirty Eating Habits on Public Transport

Eating and drinking on public transport should be a total no-no ... it's whiffy, unsightly, gooey and fantastically dirty unncessary ...

None of these grub munchers are really desperately hungry, they just feel like eating something ... no way is it essential to do it in confined, crowded spaces like buses or tubes ...

They've just got to organise their time better (get up early enough to eat before leaving the house) and plan their day more effectively; and even if a meal has been missed because of their incompetence or poor time-management ... well, just wait (it's not difficult, really) until the journey's finished...

What no-one seems to have pointed out here is that while on buses eating and drinking can be a bit annoying, on the tube left-over food attracts vermin, which is an actual health hazard. Most tube stations seem to have at least a few mice (some smell strongly of them), and I suspect that the only reason we don't see rats is that they are rather more shy.

What about cracking open a Christmas Hamper?

However there are special occasions when food and drink can be consumed. For example take a weary Christmas shopper returning with the spoils of festive retail merriment. In a moment of reflection the shopper could crak open one of their gifts - christmas hampers would be ideal - and share the luxury and joy of the present

Bottom line - ban cooked or smelly food from public transport or at least show some consideration for those around you. Fine people who leave their litter on buses or trains or give courts the power to make them serve some kind of unpaid community service clearing the mess left by wrappers and spilt sticky drinks on public transport.

Dress Dirty - Talk Dirty

David Cameron is reported to have delivered a romantic gesture to his wife, Samantha, during this speach at the conservative conference.

Romantic Gesture - Or Just Talking Dirty

The draft of this paradoy speech we saw was more like dirty talk - saying how he wanted to see her wearing cheap high street dresses preferably without wearing and knickers and reeking of cheap perfume.

This outburst has set the high streets on fire - dirty fake perfume shops now proudly boast tarts boudoir scents and Marks n Sparks with one of their dresses being worn by Samantha Cameron during the conservative conference now fill their high street windows with similar dresses and sexy lingerie.

Dirty Talk
There's much in the news recently about cleaning up our foul language - by this we assume will not include the wonderful ways of words we have when it comes to dirty talk.

The Dirty Duck - Heston's Dirty Joke - Made You Look

The vast majority of food poisoning cases are actually from poorly washed raw veg and salads. The single greatest cause of take-away related food poisoning is from re-heated rice, which has a specific and violently unpleasant bacterium.

Dirty Duck?

Am I the only person to have noticed the really bad bit of prose in Heston Blumenthal's 'apology' for the outbreak of dirtiness or whatever it was that apparently left a lot of people ill with sickness and diarrhoea ?

He actually said "I wish to invite them all to return to the Dirty Duck at their convenience". Wasn't the problem that they'd been almost glued to their conveniences ?

Is the man just stupid, or was he taking the mickey ? Shame he tried to cast doubt on the quality of the HPA report and ignored the bits about continuous contamination at his restaurant, sick staff being allowed to continue to work, and flawed dirty procedures.

Dirty Duck - Made you Look!