derr eThings

Dirty Business

2011-08-31T03:43:00.000-07:00

Despite European plans to phase out coal-fired power stations, the coal industry is booming thanks to low and stable prices.

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If European and British politicians are to be believed, coal is yesterday’s fuel. Indeed, the government published plans last month for a sweeping reform of the electricity market designed to stop coal-fired power stations being built in this country. The same goes for continental Europe if it is to meet ambitious plans to reduce emissions.

The reality, however, is that coal is in more demand than ever. There are several reasons. One is price: coal is cheaper than gas and oil and the price is less volatile.

There is also a huge installed base. Today 41% of the world’s energy is produced by coal-fired power stations. The International Energy Agency, the adviser to advanced nations, predicts this will fall to 32% by 2035 but that still equates to an overall increase because of soaring global energy demand.

This will be driven mainly by China. “Over the next 15 years China is expected to add generating capacity equivalent to the current total installed capacity of the US,” the agency said.

Milton Catelin, chief executive of the World Coal Institute, said others will follow. “Coal’s share of global energy last year was the highest since 1972. It grew faster than any other fuel source because nothing in the modern world can match it in terms of certainty of supply and output.”

The problem is that coal is dirty. It releases more carbon dioxide per unit of energy generated than any other fuel. The European Union has tried to address this through the Emissions Trading Scheme, which forces polluters to buy permits for each tonne of carbon dioxide they produce.

Britain has gone even further. It has devised a system of subsidies for cleaner alternatives, such as wind and nuclear power, and additional penalties on carbon that, in effect, prohibit the building of any new coal-fired stations. It is due to put these into law by 2013.

An exception to the anti-coal scheme are plants fitted with carbon capture and storage (CCS) technology, which strips emissions from exhaust gases and buries them.

But CCS is costly and commercially unproven. A government competition to build a plant on an industrial scale was launched four years ago but has yet to find a suitable project.

The above are attempts to address what Nicholas Stern, author of the seminal study on the economics of climate change, called a “market failure on the greatest scale the world has seen”. That is the failure of markets to price in the effects of carbon emissions — floods, hurricanes, droughts — that cause billions in economic damage and human suffering.

Yet Europe is ploughing a lone furrow. The world’s two biggest burners of coal, America and China, have not signed up to binding reduction targets. Demand for cheap, plentiful energy still trumps any imperative to address climate change. And that means these are the salad days for coal.

The Bovey Boule

2011-04-06T03:47:00.000-07:00

The Boule of Bovey

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2011-02-14T09:25:00.001-08:00

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Constabulary photo e fit suffers a bad hair day

2010-09-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

It should have been easy enough to spot the suspected criminals walking around with hair shaped like a lettuce and a fringe resembling a green barcode.

However the public alert for the unusual looking suspects was withdrawn yesterday when Hampshire Constabulary admitted it was experiencing “technical problems” with its e-fit software.

The police force came under fire for releasing “absolutely ridiculous” e-fits after a burglary suspect looked like he was wearing a lettuce on his head.

Officers said a technical problem caused the unusual hair colour and admitted it was not the “best quality”.However it appeared that the problem was more widespread after a series of images emerged with suspects sporting disastrous hairstyles and looking like computer characters from the 1990s.

A suspected robber, in his late teens, sported a fringe which looked like a barcode. Another alleged criminal appeared to have red eyes.

Hampshire Police issued the original e-fit, of the man with the lettuce-shaped hair, to try to trace a distraction burglar who stole £60 from an elderly woman in Stockbridge.Although the offender was described by his vctim as having wavy blonde/greying hair and being about 40 the image showed him with green hair and was described as “ludicrous” by residents.

A Hampshire police spokeswoman said: “We make every effort to ensure that the e-fits we circulate are as accurate and detailed as they possibly can be from the description provided by the witness.

“This is borne out by the quality and detail contained within the facial features.

“We are, though, currently experiencing technical problems with the quality of the hair and are waiting for an upgrade to the system from the company who provides us with the software.”

She went on: “We have a duty to do all we can to identify those involved in crime, prevent further occurrences and protect the public and while the hair on this image may not be of the best quality, it takes nothing from the overall clarity of the facial features.

“It would therefore be wrong to withhold the release of the e-fit just based on this technical issue.

“We would never release an e-fit a victim disagreed or was unhappy with and in this instance the victim fully supported the publication of this image.”

Detective Constable Danielle Robinson said: “I would like to hear from anyone who has information about this incident or who recognises the man in the e-fit image as he may be able to help with our inquiries.”

A local resident said: “It seems like the force has some gremlins in its system, but anyone could’ve looked at the images and seen how stupid they look.

“How people are expected to identify these suspects when their e-fits look like pictures my three year old son drew with a crayon is beyond me.

“It seems like it’s been going on for a while and Hampshire Constabulary need to sort it out.”

Digging the dirt

2010-09-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

Your phone, desk and kitchen are all crawling with bugs. Just how worried should you be?

Pull on your rubber gloves and get out your mobile phone — for this little gadget can harbour 18 times more bacteria than a toilet flush handle, warns new research. Or we could try exchanging mucky e-mails. Because your laptop keyboard is likely to be crawling with the stomach bug campylobacter, says another new report.
That may be enough to send you running to the bathroom for a good scrub — but beware: the seals around your bath and washbasin are a “prime spot” for dangerous bugs including E. coli and Staphylococcus aureus, which are linked to food poisoning and breathing problems, says yet another new study.
These three separate reports last week — from the consumer watchdog Which?, the Hygiene Council and the microbiologist Professor Hugh Pennington, are merely the tip of a revolting iceberg. They add to research that shows how our lives are beset by contamination with potentially lethal bacteria. The Hygiene Council report says that bathrooms are not the only home threat: 20 per cent of kitchen cloths are a danger, and a third of fridges are contaminated by fungal spores.
A wealth of studies have been done in hygiene-conscious America by Dr Charles Gerber, of the University of Arizona. He has found that there are more faecal bacteria in your kitchen sink than in your toilet after you flush it. And there is apparently 200 times more E. coli on your kitchen cutting board than on a toilet seat. “It’s safer to make a sandwich on a toilet seat,” he says.
It may also be safer to work on the loo than at your desk, says Dr Gerber, a professor of environmental microbiology.
He has shown that there are typically 400 times more bacteria per square centimetre on a desk surface than on a toilet seat. He also notes that television remote controls in hotels are dirtier than the loo. “The dirt is often urine, semen or faeces,” he says.
There is no escape. Dr Gerber has found serious contamination pretty much everywhere: inside domestic washing machines, on supermarket trolley handles — even your Manolos are not safe. Shoes can harbour ten million bacteria per square inch, he says. It may be safer to wear toilets.
In fact, there is no need to panic. Yes, we are surrounded by bacteria. And our skins are covered with bacteria. These two statements have always been true. But we haven’t all dropped dead. Most bacteria are harmless, and those that may be pathogenic are not usually around in sufficient numbers to cause harm. Infectious-disease experts say that the one common household item that should be handled with caution is the dishcloth, as it tends to stay damp as well as dirty and can act as a breeding ground for infectious nasties to grow in sufficient numbers to be dangerous.
Our best bet is simply to follow sensible hygiene routines, such as washing hands after using the bathroom and before handling food. And to prevent infecting others, the official advice (as it was during the swine flu scare) is to cover our noses and mouths when we cough or sneeze, use a tissue whenever possible, and dispose of used tissues quickly and sensibly. It is tediously unspectacular, but effective.
But why do all this research? Without in any way disparaging Dr Gerber’s integrity, there is a wider agenda in such awareness-raising. It is worth pointing out that Dr Gerber has worked closely with commercial companies that, for example, sell cleaning agents and personal sanitisers, market washable shoes and build trolley-sanitising machines. Closer to home, one should also point out that the Hygiene Council is sponsored by Dettol.
But we also love to read these stories. They tickle our primordial paranoia about contagion and death, to the point where mass media reporting has helped to precipitate an epidemic of spermaphobia (even the clinical term for fear of germs sounds yucky).
A report by Mintel, the market researchers, shows how deeply this fear has spread. Last year, about 26 million British adults bought antibacterial handwash. An astonishing nine out of ten of us bought some kind of antibacterial personal-care product (and these figures predate the impact of swine flu fears).

Pakistan Appeal

2010-08-10T02:12:00.000-07:00

British public pledges £5m to Pakistan appeal

Donations to emergency Pakistan appeal fund match coalition government aid in only 48 hours as floods leave millions homeless

Food is handed out by aid workers to those in the flooded areas (Bilawal Arbab) The British public has donated £5 million in less than three days towards helping millions of people caught up in Pakistan’s worst floods in living memory.

The Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) said today there had been a “fantastic” response to a television appeal on Thursday.

The money raised, in addition to the £5m pledged by the British government, will go towards helping more than 12 million people affected by the worst floods to hit Pakistan in 80 years.

It is estimated that 1,500 people have died as a result of the heavy monsoon rains which arrived in the region last weekend.
Continuing rain claims more lives and the number of afffected people is reported to be over twelve million.

Bloomers - Summer Bouquet

2010-07-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

Simple video demonstration about preparing a summer bouquet of flowers

What flowers would you choose to create an impressive bouquet?

Most would agree that having flowers delivered is the easiest way to send a bouquet but of course you could try to pick common wildflowers but they are mostly short stemmed and of little use other than to create a posy

On the subject of flowers check out the carpet of flowers as shown on wide open space

Dirty Coffee

2010-06-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

The amounts of nasty chemicals in two cups of coffee exceed the quantity of nasty man-made chemicals than in a years' daily consumption of five fruit and vegetables.

So if the coffee does not harm us why are we irrationally concerned about man-made pesticide residues?

Women's Underwear -Get it off your chest

2010-06-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

There are now so many pretty bras available for full-busted women that it surprises me when a someone who is only a 34DD complains that she can't find anything.

It also surprises me when full-busted women complain about price. I knew there was more engineering involved in large cup bras and other women's underwear, but your article helped me understand it better. One thing your article also reveals, although you don't write much about it, is how imprecise the term "full-figured" is.

Those of us who are designing clothes for women with narrow torsos and large cup sizes are using the term "full-busted" or "full-breasted" to distinguish our sub-category of fit. Now that we can find the right bras, it's time to find the right clothing to wear above them - especially in warm weather when tee shirts and summer dresses reveal more of what should be hidden beneath. I write about the challenge that this can be on my blog, BUSTED - In search of the Biggest Bras

Dirty Water - I'll Drink to That

2010-05-19T02:32:00.000-07:00

If you're so upset with dirty water then why not buy bottled water or be done with it? Or, better yet, install your own sewage treatment plant in your back yard.

If something is not right, make it right for yourself and don't waste valuable energy trying to make the world conform to your standards. That's being co-dependant. You couldn't possibly have control over what the government does with it's water supply or the municipalities for that matter. Accept it and follow the principles of the Serenity Prayer from AA. You can't change it so accept it and move on. You can buy all the wonderful bottled water you like, install a great filter from your home, or better yet, don't drink water at all and drink only the finest vodka, gin or bourbon every day. That will do two things, give you a pure product to drink and sterilize everything that comes in contact with your body. Alcohol, especially grain alcohol of especially high per centages will kill just about any bug or pathogen out there.

I remember one year when everyone in the family was getting the flu, I had a few whiskeys and kept the pesky flu at bay for a long, long time.

Water isn't the only thing to drink. In fact sometimes it's the worse thing for you. When Humphrey Bogart filmed the Africa Queen, he was one of the few cast members who did not get sick because he didn't drink the water, but drank the booze instead!

Where are gone strong willpower and personal pride?

Ireland Minus R plus C Equals Iceland

2010-05-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

Breaking away from the dreary but important task of finding any useful information about Ireland I mistyped Ireland and instead saw suggestions about Iceland..

Once again the Lolcano in Iceland has chucked its muck into the atmosphere and flights to and from Ireland have been disrupted. Financial pages on the Times commented that the ash deposit accounts for another crippling impact on Ireland's airline industy's financial investments and calls for another research plance to check the air quality have benn made.

The research plane hasn't come back yet - it's got lost in a sinister cloud of deadly gas and ash.......

Prior to the first closure of airspace there had been an aviation industry global wide acceptance of zero tolerance of volcanic ash by the engine manufacturers.

Then there was talk of a 'minimum level' of volcanic ash tolerance. But what is that minumum?

Unless I have missed something in the media already, there has been little said by the engine manufacturers in public as to level of ash can be tolerated. Or is this an unknown factor?

Passengers due to fly today and now cancelled are inconvenienced but on balance are happy the authorities are putting safety first.

Hummer - Is it a Car or a Van

2010-04-19T03:00:00.000-07:00

Recently while searching for van hire we at Derr eThings were appaled to see the appearance of Hummers here in the UK. It would appear that some petrolheaded entrepeneur has had the bright idea of offering these monster-osities to geezers - focussing initially of the van hire london market.

Here's the thoughts of one of our freinds from across the pond:

Hummer is incredibly trashy-looking and ridiculously ugly car. Forget about the whole global warming, impact of climate change thing, that hulky steel box is UGLY and beyond tasteless. No, people make fun of it not because it gets bad mileage, people make fun of it because it makes you look like a uneducated rednecky hick that can't spell A to Z.

I still possess several windshield stickers which I enjoy affixing to the drivers-side window of extra-obnoxious vehicles that park along side me in parking lots. Of course, they say:
S Stupid
U Useless
V Van

No Buts its got to be butter

2010-04-12T03:27:00.000-07:00

Margarine has fats in it that aren't found in nature. Refined polyunsaturated veg oil is an industrial novelty (whose introduction coincides with the rise of heart disease, and is implicated in most mental conditions).

Nutritionist have been peddling ideas based on dubious research - statistics produces pseudo-science - that are 180 degrees in contradiction to our hunter gather evolutionary heritage of 3 million years. There were no plump, sweet fruits 30,000 years ago: anthropologists even think there is no original, unmanipulated fruit left on the planet. Think crab apples and damsons for something closer to the truth (small and sour).

Just consider that most veg is inedible uncooked and much of it mildly toxic.

And since the unproven saturated-fat-heart disease theory has now been effectively shown to be only true of marge it's time to pick up a big piece of meat on the bone and eat real food again.

Here's raising my glass to butter! (Avoid 'Willow', it's mostly marge).

A Dozen Cities

2010-03-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

The Sunday Times produced their top hot dozen cities -
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/holiday_type/breaks/article7056736.ece.
Sit back and enjoy the comments made by Times readers:

My personal fave is, like me, short and sweet:

Bath? BATH!!- is someone having a laugh?

Bath

A nonsense that you feature traffic-clogged Bath and not sublime, atmospheric and wonderful Venice.

Bath???? Are you hallucinating?

Havana

Bath and Havana? I think not.

London

London is always the winner - sunny Turnpike Lane and Wood Green, ahh the memories. Dog do, kfc wrappers and barf up to your ankles, grumpy rude folk everywhere, a fiver a pint, 60 quid for the footie. Gives me a headache every time.

As for London, the pictures I've seen of ladies on a night out doesn't make for very "hot" even if they are wearing stilletos and short dresses!

London is glamourous at a price. It is overpriced and unwelcoming unless you have pots of money and no expectations. It is burdened with traffic, litter and pollution. Yes there are attractions but as a whole, the city is not a winner in this category. With airports situated far away from the City you can spend as much time getting into the centre as you did on your flights to London.

New York

Berlin

Berlin? I was there last week for the first time and found it as much fun as a cold bath.

Paris

Paris? You have to be kidding. Paris is a late middle-aged woman with only self-denial hiding the saggy flesh and wrinkles. Romantic? Technically being possible, but only with the light out and after considerable intake of alcohol - dont delay search for your flights to Paris today.

Stockholm

Stockholm? STOCKHOLM? Over, say, Moscow, Shanghai, Tokyo, Rio, Sydney? Who is paying these writers?

Even Helsinki is better than Stockholm, not to mention Copenhagen.

Other cities on the list:

Istanbul
St Petersburg
Rome
Seville
Tangier

Replace Dirty Electricity with Clean Renewable Energy

2010-02-21T03:39:00.000-08:00

Shine On - PV Panels For Clean Energy

Great news for those thinking about installing wind turbines or the lasets PV panels - photovoltaic panels that generate clean electricity from the sun - attractive to investors in the South West where there is expected to be a surge in interest for PV panels in Devon to cash in on the opportunity to earn from using the clean electricity you generate from you own home PV panels or wind turbine. The feed-in-tariif Devon is set to be embraced by homeowners and communitites alike - keen to be green and benefit from the financial incentive of the governments scheme - the campaign to promote renewable energy in Devon looks set to be one of the most successful in the UK - the future looks bright in the South.

Northerns Remain Dirty

There is a sense of dismay from our friends in the North who suspect that they will continue to pay throught he nose for dirty energy generated from coal and oil power stations. Objections have been voiced by the good folk of Manchester who acknowledge that its grim up North - grey skies and rain - not the ideal conditions for generating solar electricity with even the latest efficient PV panels.

Offsetting Flights

It is sad and ironic that the same people calling foul were those that protested strongly when the Airport announced it was looking to attract more flights to Manchester, claiming pollution was already beyond acceptable levels now that dirty smokers were out on the street. They feel agrieved that they are denied the opportunity to "offset" the dirty fumes of these additional flights to the UK by installing technology in their homes to produce renewable, clean electricity.

The next few months will be critical - if the uptake of home generation of clean electric is good we can all breathe a sigh of relief that we ar doing our bit to lessen the effects of climate change as we continue to take flights around the world.

Video Issues Broadcast Yourself

2010-02-19T03:59:00.000-08:00

This all sounds very ominous - YouTube Blog: Broadcast Yourself

Bah where would that leave classics like this clip of lingerie models on a roller coaster?

Man? - Clean Up Your Act - Dove for men

2010-02-18T01:47:00.000-08:00

Are you anwashed man?

Heres a New Soap For You

Men - Get over it and be comfortable with who you are.

Don't be shy to try beauty products for men. Dove for men give you a chance to clean up your act and no longer be seen as a dirty old man. Be a clean chap.

Dirty Hotel - Worldwide Search for the Dirtiest Hotel

2010-02-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

Is this the World's Dirtiest Hotel?

Incredible to learn that a UK hotel has been awarded "dirtiest hotel" by online travel community Tripadvisor. Where is the dirty hotel? The seedy districts of Bangkok, Thailand, the slums of Mumbai? NO - leisure capital of England Blackpool - the Grosvenor Hotel in Blackpool, Lancashire is a dirty hotel!

You would have thought that the well travelled wanderlust types that contibute to travel blogs and travel reviews would have experienced far worse in far corners of the world.

Remember the scene in the film The Beach with Leonardo Crapper when he first arrived in in Thailand and stayed at a backpackers hostel Bangkok - dirty dirty - before going on to discover the beach paradise (now ruined by over tourism)

Sad that the success of the film encourage many airlines to increase their flights to Thailand and gap year students suddenly incorporated flights to Bangkok on their round the world travels and these rough guide freespirits felt cheated if their hotels weren't dirty filthy causing diarrhea and sickness - two things that brings travellers together.

Oh Quit Editors note the Tripadviser award was for EUROPE's dirty hotel category so the dirty hotels of Bangkok can still be awarded this accolade.

Dirty Jokes for Dirty Van Man

2010-02-02T07:31:00.000-08:00

Following the series of Dirty themed jokes - these jokes went down well about dirty van hire
some months ago so we thought - hey what some about dirty lingerie jokes?

Test dirt, DO NOT WASH

but when I searched for them there were no jokes about dirty sexy lingerie but I did find this amusing.

got to click the image

Fat Girl Needs Stuffing | Dirty Dieting

2010-02-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

Dirty eating - a fat girl is in need of stuffing to compliment her dirty diet.

Haiti Earthquake Beware of Dirty Scammers

2010-01-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

Haiti Earthquake Scam

Dirty Dirty Dirty

How anyone has the gaul to exploite the huge catastrophe that Haiti suffers folllowing the earthquake is beyond us.

It has been reported that bogus websites have been set up to con people into donating to Haiti earthquake appeals.

Scams have evolved since the days of Katrina so that Black Hat search engine manipulation is used to promote dodgy sites, Twitter tag-poisoning and even paid search engine placement ads may be brought into play to increase traffic flowing towards fraudulent domains.

Calls to take the sites that are fraudualantly using the Haiti earthquake to con donations from the public into amking down if they are clearly not associated with recognisable charities have been ignored although spokesman from isc commented that they are "keeping an eye on them" and hope to be able to protect.

Charity events

There has been specualtion that bogus charity events will be organised to make the sites and the fake charities appear more credible.

If you want to avoid dirty scams stick with taking par in charity events and donating to high profile organisation to make your donations for Haiti Earthquake.

Dirty Gesture to Swiss Vote Against Minarets

2010-01-06T06:21:00.000-08:00

Banning minarets. If that isn't one of the most odd government actions I've ever heard of, it's close.

In November, Switzerland voted to ban the construction of new minarets, the towerlike structures that adorn mosques. A week or so later, in an apparent act of defiance, a new minaret unexpectedly sprang up.

The minaret is attached to the warehouse of a shoe store called Pomp It Up, which is part of a Swiss chain. It was erected by the chain's owner, Guillaume Morand, who fashioned it out of plastic and wood and attached it to a chimney. The new minaret, nearly 20 feet high and illuminated at night, is clearly visible from the main highway connecting Lausanne and Geneva.

Just a way to attract new clientale to sell more shoes. Good marketing gimmick, but muslims in Switzerland won't see it that way. They are not equipped to analyse the ways of capitalists.

Send Mr. Morond to Saudi or flight to Dubai to build a plastic steeple on his chimney..... and see what's going to happen to him.

Yes, he'd be in a lot of trouble. But then Saudi Arabia is not a secular democracy where human rights are supposed to be protected. We expect bigotry and disrespect for rights from a authoritarian monarchy, but a modern Western nation is supposed to be a different story.

I think there needs to be a poster showing a minaret that people can put up on their walls. Switzerland ought to be plastered with them. Switzerland should have minaret calendars and little chocolate minarets and key chains with minarets on them. Swiss people ought to wear minaret lapel pins and ties and handkerchiefs with images of minarets on them.

Nigella Talks Dirty at Christmas

2009-12-17T04:13:00.001-08:00

Nigella Talks Dirty While Getting Excited about Christmas

Funny video of nigella talking dirty at Christmas.

From dirty thoughts we turn to a helathy Christams dinner and there is a natural association between Christmas and Nigella the Kitchen Godess.

Here we see a rare video of Nigella creating in a stir as she talks dirty whilst in her kitchen.

Get Down and Dirty | Dirty Dancing Video

2009-11-25T06:59:00.000-08:00

Summers over but there's no reason that the party has to stop. See how dancers from around keep hip to the beat in this dirty dancing video.

Move over Swazee make room on the dancefloor for dirty movers and shakers who strut their stuff in unusual places. Beaches in Denmark floors in Chicago, Zug Switzerland.

From crazy puppet like moves in tunnels to the lunchtime prantics in a Marbella car hire office this dirty dancing video celebrates the energy and grace of dancers everywhere.

Dirty Waste With Amanda Holden

2009-10-29T02:37:00.000-07:00

Amanda Holden takes a trip down Waste Street to check out how wuch dirty waste can be recycled.

Dirty Food - Eating on Public Transport

2009-10-22T03:46:00.000-07:00

Dirty Eating Habits on Public Transport

Eating and drinking on public transport should be a total no-no ... it's whiffy, unsightly, gooey and fantastically dirty unncessary ...

None of these grub munchers are really desperately hungry, they just feel like eating something ... no way is it essential to do it in confined, crowded spaces like buses or tubes ...

They've just got to organise their time better (get up early enough to eat before leaving the house) and plan their day more effectively; and even if a meal has been missed because of their incompetence or poor time-management ... well, just wait (it's not difficult, really) until the journey's finished...

What no-one seems to have pointed out here is that while on buses eating and drinking can be a bit annoying, on the tube left-over food attracts vermin, which is an actual health hazard. Most tube stations seem to have at least a few mice (some smell strongly of them), and I suspect that the only reason we don't see rats is that they are rather more shy.

What about cracking open a Christmas Hamper?

However there are special occasions when food and drink can be consumed. For example take a weary Christmas shopper returning with the spoils of festive retail merriment. In a moment of reflection the shopper could crak open one of their gifts - christmas hampers would be ideal - and share the luxury and joy of the present

Bottom line - ban cooked or smelly food from public transport or at least show some consideration for those around you. Fine people who leave their litter on buses or trains or give courts the power to make them serve some kind of unpaid community service clearing the mess left by wrappers and spilt sticky drinks on public transport.

Dress Dirty - Talk Dirty

2009-10-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

David Cameron is reported to have delivered a romantic gesture to his wife, Samantha, during this speach at the conservative conference.

Romantic Gesture - Or Just Talking Dirty

The draft of this paradoy speech we saw was more like dirty talk - saying how he wanted to see her wearing cheap high street dresses preferably without wearing and knickers and reeking of cheap perfume.

This outburst has set the high streets on fire - dirty fake perfume shops now proudly boast tarts boudoir scents and Marks n Sparks with one of their dresses being worn by Samantha Cameron during the conservative conference now fill their high street windows with similar dresses and sexy lingerie.

Dirty Talk
There's much in the news recently about cleaning up our foul language - by this we assume will not include the wonderful ways of words we have when it comes to dirty talk.

The Dirty Duck - Heston's Dirty Joke - Made You Look

2009-10-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

The vast majority of food poisoning cases are actually from poorly washed raw veg and salads. The single greatest cause of take-away related food poisoning is from re-heated rice, which has a specific and violently unpleasant bacterium.

Dirty Duck?

Am I the only person to have noticed the really bad bit of prose in Heston Blumenthal's 'apology' for the outbreak of dirtiness or whatever it was that apparently left a lot of people ill with sickness and diarrhoea ?

He actually said "I wish to invite them all to return to the Dirty Duck at their convenience". Wasn't the problem that they'd been almost glued to their conveniences ?

Is the man just stupid, or was he taking the mickey ? Shame he tried to cast doubt on the quality of the HPA report and ignored the bits about continuous contamination at his restaurant, sick staff being allowed to continue to work, and flawed dirty procedures.

Dirty Duck - Made you Look!

Modern Warfare 2 - Dirty Price Warfare

2009-09-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

Modern Price Warfare

The eagerly awaited price war for Modern Warfare 2 has officially begun. Price comparison sites are going into meltdown trying to reflect the true sale price of the latest Infinity Ward Call of Duty game.

The cheapest modern warfare 2 xbox 360 is running neck and neck with the Playstation version of the game each price adjustment made by the retailers is only pennies - purely to make it to that coverted position of cheapest modern warfare 2 game available to pre-order

Bizarre that although the game is still awaiting official release in Novemeber a selection of collectors editions are now available to pre-order. Under the guise of "Hardened" volume a collector version of modern warfare 2 PS3 - Limited Edition - is almost twice the price of the what may be renamed "boring" version.

So forget paintball - go stuff a stick of dynamite down your combat trousers and grab a deal for the latest Call of Duty game and while away the time until Christmas bring you more interesting gifts

Empty Jug - Another Dirty Trick in the Office Kitchen

2009-09-04T03:49:00.000-07:00

Following the empty butter wrapper debacle imagine our surprise to see this empty jug sat proudly in the fridge today.

Waste not want not - just a few drops of milk left - dilligently put it back inthe fridge for the next thirsty brewmaker.

Dirty Butter Wrapper Why oh Why oh Why?

2009-09-02T05:24:00.001-07:00

One for all the kitchen nazis - thanks so much for leaving some butter for the next person and taking the trouble to leave a knife handy.

Full marks for the consideration shown by the last person to use this butter:

If you look closely there is probably a chance you could scrape enough butter to make an ant sized sandwich.

Dirty butter wrapper - why oh why oh why?

Dirty Downloaders Workplace Warnings

2009-08-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

Dirty Downloaders Warning at Work

You've all probably had the memo about piracy and file sharing:

Not only is this activity illegal, it is also commercially damaging and embarrassing for the company.

If you are caught misusing the company network for illegal activities, not only will this result in disciplinary procedure, but may also result in a criminal prosecution

Does the government or corporations seriously think that, had nobody ever shared files, that they would have actually bought the digital media that everyone now has?

Of course not. Everyone would have the usual 20 albums or so that they had back in the pre digital days.

People have better things to spend their money on than large amounts of digital media. If it had to be paid for, a massive, massive number of people would simply do without it - as they do anything else expensive that's a luxury.

My bet is that the massive computer industry has grown in part because of the ease of access of free media.

Why is it that ISPs give customers an allowance of, say 10GB per month to downloaded if they are not implicitly acknowledging that file-sharing takes place? What else are people dowloading other than moving image or audio files? I suppose you could argue that most of these are not copyrighted.

A music related point - having bought the vinyl, then the pre-recorded tape, then the CD, then the re-mastered CD, then the' legacy edition' with bonus disc - how many times are we expected to pay for essentially the same product?

Is downloading an avi file of a recently broadcast television programme that's not available for commercial purchase, then burning it onto a dvd for your own use or watching it on your laptop, essentially that different from recording on a VCR? Am I now supposed to buy expensive Blu ray discs to replace DVD as well?

I don't think the media industry loses that much money, no-one's got any more to spend - its just that the 'entertainment budget' goes to cable/satellite/internet providers rather than Sony/Universal etc - they should sort it out between themselves rather than trying to get the government criminsalise a large part of the population in order to protect dirty big businesses as they work out further ways to get our money.

Used Vans - Tricks to Sell Used Vans

2009-08-17T08:23:00.001-07:00

Vans - Used Dirty Vans For Sale

Remember when we got down with the hilarious messages left on dirty vans, now it has come to our attention that many of the vans featured were not hired but cheap second hand vans.

Used vans often fail to attract a decent price - due to the obvious expecation that they have been mis-used by the tradesmen that previously owned them - as the time to change van approaches it is unlikely that the van will be well maintained and cleaned and it is destined to become just another of the many used vans up for grabs on the motoring auction sites.

Tricks to Sell Used Vans

Used car salesmen have a reputation for using sharp practice but the sale of used vans takes dirty tricks to a new level.

There is no price guide so think of a number - think about printing off some prices of similar models of van that are the same age or have smilar mileage to the van you arethinking about buying.

As vans are often stolen (primarily for their content - a typical self employed tradesman can have thousands of pounds worth of tools and equipment not to mention stock on board) so there vans are a target for crooks. Savvy van thieves out to make that extra income don't fail to miss a trick and will offer the stolen van for sale to save money disposing it. make sure the vpn matched the chassis and other documents that accompany the van.

Recently we read about a clever so and so that was buying used vans for one way trips in order to import and export a range of products between France and the UK. Cider was taken to Paris for Les Cidre Billy Francais while cheese and lingerie filled a van for the trip back to England. When asked if the cheese affected sales of the sexy lingerie the van man explained that it was easy to convince "those stupid English" that the latest en vougue style was for wearing sexy lingerie that had a cheesy whiff.

Frotage au fromage.

Dirty Books - Second Hand Books - Dirty Tricks

2009-08-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

The sheer downright dirty nerve of some people never fails to amaze.

Reading this post about the sale of second hand books on the Telegraph anyone would think that Oxfam are an evil world conquoring organisation that is using mafia style dirty tricks to squeeze out the good booksellers from our high streets with unfair competition over the dirty book shops..

The fact that essential revenue is earned by the sale of second hand books in both Oxfam's high street shops and online through its charity gifts pages seems to have been completely overlooked - the focus instead being on poor old Pikey Pete and his mates trying to pull a fast one by buying dirt chep books and reslling them for the postage profits on Amazon Meerkatplace.

To be honest the thought of rummaging through heaps of dirty books isn't my cup of tea but for some it is bliss. The hope of discovering a first issue, rare classics or out of print collectible books is enough to tempt many into the wonders of dirty books.

Good luck on your hunt for more dirty books.

Dirty Vans - Van Man Joke

2009-07-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

Dirty Vans

Time for a closer look at vans to get a fuller picture of the dirty van man and his jokes.

The best two van jokes have to be "clean me" and the ever delightful - "I wish my missus was as dirty as this"

We were chuffed to bits to see that our obsession with all things dirty is shared elsewhere on the world vide veb - http://www.dirtyvan.com/ - in a brave attempt to get on the user generated content band wagon this site encourages visitors to contribute photos of dirty vans - and what a selection there is already - FOURTEEN photos - although it has to be noted that there is a mucky car or two amongst them. We wish the site well and shall be offering our best picture of a dirty van soon.

There's also a funny sign section too but the site is in a frame (rofl) so you'll have to navigate there yourself.

Hire a Van and get it Dirty

One way to enjoy the attention a dirty van attracts is to hire one for a few days. Like car rental van hire companies are obliged to issue their vehicles in a clean and tidy condition. What better way to get full value for money from your van hire than to return the van in a completely filthy dirty state - they can't charge you extra for cleaning - but cancel your card first just in case.

Van Man Joke

Did you hear the one about an ice-cream van driver who was found lying dead in a pool of raspberry syrup covered in chopped nuts and chocolate bits. It appeared that he topped himself.

More vans jokes here

Avoid Dirty Swimwear - Carefully Apply Suntan Lotion

2009-07-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Suntan lotion and new swimwear

So you've booked a well earned holiday and are lookng forward to relaxing by the pool or taking a dip in the clear blue seas on a far away beach holiday. Time for buying those essential holiday items - suntan lotion and new swimwear.

You may have read smart advice about sun protection - especially if the swimwear you are going to wear is very "dirty" revealing more than you would say sunbathing in a park - the latest fashions for thong bikinis and strings are more like sexy lingerie than swimming costumes.

Dirty Squirty

Be careful where you squirt your suntan lotion - swimwear is easily stained by blobs of oil that didn't get rubbed in properly. The last thing you want to be noticed for is a dirty greasy gusset encrusted with sand. One smart idea we learned from the swimsuit issue models is to use once a day p20 sunfilter which you can apply first thing in the morning while you are completely naked and once it has been absorbed you can slip on any garments you like without fearing them getting dirty.

Big brand name suntan lotion may smell wonderful and feel luxurious to apply but at the end of the day they are generally ineffective pots gloop with designer price tags.

Designer women's swimwear

Like all things stylish swimwear comes at a price - checking out the latest boutiques reveals that the skimpyer the swimming costume the higher the price. Women's swimwear is another fantasy for designers and fashinistas to drool over. Each year new ranges are modeled by girls who make them look amazing and encouraging sales to women who in the harsh light of the changing room, begin to feel insecure in comparison to the catwalk girls. Failure to have a bikini wax and mis-application of fake tan lotion take their toll making the most sophisticated swimsuit look like a cheap tarts dirty playsuit.

Swimmers playing dirty tricks

Once all you needed to compete in a swimming race was a pair of trunks for him and a one-piece swimming costume for her but now in the pursuit of speed the trend for aquadynamic swimwear such as bodysuits

Such costumes should be banished and swimming contests judged on more than simply speed - consideration as to cut, flair and pattern of outfit along with attention to the type of material used.

Camping - a Dirty Weekend

2009-06-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

Fancy a Dirty Weekend?

The offer of a dirty weekend is something not to be sniffed aand we recommend watching and paying close attention to Carry on Camping again as it is the essential guide to camping holidays in the UK.

Tales of festival camping wash-outs makes it necessary to make sure you have the right gear for a dirty night under the stars.

Knee deep in mud, sodden tents and and useless camping equipment can quickly spoil a camping holiday so here we suggest a couple of top tips for making sure you cna make the most of your dirty weekend with the right camping equipment.
Dirty Weekend Shopping List:

Camping Equipment

Tents - reports of safety concerns for cheap tents means its worth checking the safety certificate - it would be tragically ironic if during a wet spell you took shelter and tried to add romance to the tent by lighting a candle only to see it vanish in a flash of flames.

Of all the camping equipment you'll need a tent is not necessarily the most important piece of kit. Pedants might argue that without a tent you aren't really camping but for many a good night's sleep is more important than the thin sheet of fabric you scurry into.

Camp Beds - the prospect of flooding on UK camp sites is high so a good choice is an inflatable mattress or airbed. Self inflating airbeds are widely available and take the pain out of blowing up a mattress before you hit the sack and are becoming the camp bed of choice. Remember if your dirty weekend is going to be a success you'll need all the puff you can muster so consider these self inflating camp beds as a chance to escape the misery of sleeping in a very damp patch.

Baden Powell hit the nail on the head - be prepared - so in true boy scout mode we began looking around the internet for other handy things to help your camping trip go well.

Got a dog? Take the dog with you and treat them to a kennel tent- complete with an inflatable post for it to wee against. Even a man's best friend appreciates a few creature comforts and with the right camping equipment you can create a home from home.

Dirty Sofa - Prevent your sofa becoming filthy

2009-05-19T06:21:00.000-07:00

Take Care of Your New Sofa - Don't let it become dirty

By Elena Price - The Dirty Furniture Detective

If you buy a good quality sofa, it should last for many years, but there are some things that you can do in order to make sure that your new sofa stands the test of time. The most important factor in caring for a sofa is to follow the instructions provided by the manufacturer – if there is any discrepancy between the information provided in this article and the instructions provided by the manufacturer of your new sofa, you should follow the manufacturer’s instructions. However, here are some general hints and tips on how to care for a sofa.

Dirty Leather Sofas

Leather sofas are very durable, but in order to keep your new leather sofa looking its best, clean it regularly using a damp cloth. You can use specialist leather cleaning products on your sofa, but should only use them every now and then. Never use any other cleaning products containing detergents or chemicals, or cleaning products which are alcohol-based on your sofa, as they may damage the leather.

If you spill something on your leather sofa, use a damp cloth immediately in order to ensure that it doesn’t stain. However, if this doesn’t do the trick, it’s best to call in a professional to clean the dirty sofa.

Prevent Fabric Sofas Becoming Dirty

The best way to keep a fabric sofa clean is to vacuum it regularly using the upholstery attachment on your vacuum cleaner. Avoid cleaning your sofa with a brush as this can damage some fabrics. When you are choosing a new fabric sofa, look for one which has cushions and seats with removable, washable covers, as this will make your sofa easy to clean. If you do have a sofa with washable covers, make sure that you wash them all at the same time in order to ensure that one cover doesn’t fade before the others.

Many furniture retailers sell sofas that are made using stain-resistant fabrics, so you may want to look for one like this. However, if you do spill something on your sofa, use a damp cloth to mop it up straight away and, as with leather sofas, you should avoid using cleaning products containing detergents or chemicals.

General Sofa Care Tips

Whether you choose a leather sofa or a fabric sofa, you should make sure that you position it away from direct heat or air conditioning. You should also keep your sofa and upholsterd furniture out of direct sunlight in order to prevent fading, although you can find some sofas on the market that are suitable for use in sunny rooms.

Avoid sitting on your sofa if your dirty clothes are damp as if your clothes aren’t colour-fast, they may stain the upholstery, and don’t leave newspapers on the sofa as the ink may stain it.

You should also try to ensure that you use all of the seats on your sofa – although many people have a seat that they sit in out of habit, this seat will become worn quicker than the others. You should also make sure that nobody sits on the arm of the sofa, as this could damage it.

If you are looking for a new sofa, then make sure you choose one that is high quality, as this will mean that it will last longer.

be sure to use a shopping price comparison site if the sofa you choose is from a big brand name of furniture manufacturer

If you are shopping for a new sofa online, you can check the product specifications of the sofa that you like in order to make ensure that it has any features that you want, such as washable covers or fade-resistant fabric.

Dirty Knickers Video

2009-05-07T02:08:00.000-07:00

Dirty Knickers Video - Types of Knickers

In this video we learn about the different type of knickers available.

Most lingerie specialist offer matching bra and knicker sets but on the advice of those who know - leave the bra to be a personal purchase.

None of the knickers in this guide to types of knickers are dirty but they could be.

Dirty knickers Video

We all love sexy panties, but can you name these knickers?

Put a name to the face of these knickers.

French Knickers - oh la la

Parachute Knickers - rip cord

Dirty knickers - soiled pants.

Tanga Knickers - Brazillian chic

Loose Knickers - Everyone's favourite.

Lingerie Free - No Knickers? - How to Hide Your Gusset

2009-03-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a video about how to preserve your modesty if you choose not to wear knickers. Those who go out with no knickers on leave themselves wide open for the dirty papz to glimps a flash of the gash - and snp the snatch.

In the following video no knickers aren't actually the target rather concealing a ladies lingerie garments whilst slipping out of a car seat - a tricky manoeuvre at the best of times but made considerably more difficult when wearing eleaborate lingerie and underwear. Thin thongs of flowing frnech knickers all throw up their own lingerie challenge.

What we find most amusing about this no knickers video is the setting - the back passage to an bleak industrial workshop or factory - hardly the romantic dinner date you'd expect from the stylish evening dress and luxurious lingerie being modelled.

Next in the Lingerie video series will be "why lingerie" a question half answered by those who wear no knickers.

Global Warming - Raising Awareness

2009-03-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

Health Arguments for Climate Change

The health impact of climate change is a critical issue that policy-makers should be aware of while setting priorities for action and investment to mitigate the impact of global climate change. World Health Organisation WHO experts delivered this urgent message at this years Global Warming Risks, Challenges and Decisions conference in Copenhagen.

The Tree Badger has released a dirty great stonker of a video using footage from WoW and the background track of "Around the World" by Daft Funk that follows a WoW Machinima discovering global warming, which draws a parallel between what is happening on Earth and how this is visually reflected in Azeroth.

WHO has identified three key health arguments for stronger climate change measures:

Climate change has adverse consequences for health: as carbon goes up health goes down

Along with WHO the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and data identify risks to human health as a serious signal of the consequences of climate change and global warming of earth's natural processes. Health hazards from climate change are diverse, global and difficult to reverse over human time scales. The effects of global warming hits those least responsible for causing it They range from increased risks of extreme weather events, to effects on infectious disease dynamics and sea level rise leading to salinization of land and water sources.

Reducing green house gases emissions can be beneficial to health:

As carbon goes down health goes up

Feasible improvements in environmental conditions could reduce the global disease burden by more than 25%. A large part is linked to energy consumption and transport systems. Changing these systems to reduce climate change would have the added benefit of addressing some major public health issues, including outdoor air pollution (750 000 fatal each year); road accidents (over a million annual deaths) and physical inactivity and indoor air pollution which top 3 million deaths per year.

Based on WHO estimates around 150,000 deaths now occur in low-income countries each year due to climate change from four climate-sensitive health outcomes - crop failure and malnutrition, diarrhoeal disease, malaria and flooding.

Effective response requires global action

The health impacts of climate change are felt unequally. Whether it's excess deaths from the heat wave in Europe, or malarial deaths in central Africa, the people at greatest risk for climate-related health disorders and premature deaths are the poor, the geographically vulnerable, the very young, women and the elderly.

The populations considered to be at greatest risk are those living in small island developing states, mountainous regions, water-stressed areas, megacities and coastal areas in developing countries (particularly the large urban agglomerations in delta regions in Asia), and also poor people and those lacking access to health services.

Putting these three health arguments at the center of discussions at the forthcoming Conference of the Parties (COP-15) in Copenhagen later this year would ensure that in the new post-Kyoto agreement we will all share in the health and economic benefits that can accrue from countering climate change.

WHO will strive to achieve four objectives:

raising global awareness of these health arguments
making the health case for strong greenhouse gas reductions (mitigation) in all sectors (e.g., transport, housing, energy, agriculture) at national, regional and international levels
promoting and supporting the generation of scientific evidence
and strengthening health systems to cope with the health threat posed by climate change, including emergencies related to extreme weather events and sea-level rise.

WHO's member States have highlighted the importance of action to protect health from climate change. Countries have asked WHO to step up support for national and international efforts assess and address the systems.

Dirty Rats - Clean Green Energy - Rodent Power

2009-02-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

Rodents Rock!

Will rodents help solve the world’s energy crisis and help slow down climate change?

A hamster wearing a special jacket is doing its own small part to provide a clean source of electricity that is renewable!

The secret of this clean energy is the nanogenerator which can be driven by motion, such tapping of fingers whlist typing vibration of vocal cords, sheets flapping in the wind, or gerbils running on exercise wheels.

Using the same nanotechnology, researchers have also generated electricity from finger power – moving the users of ipod touch, mobile phones and other handhelds closer to self powering.

If a device such as the iPod Touch can self propel then imagine how much surplus playing wii games could generate. The latest calculations reckon that half an hour of intermediate level wii fit should be able to not only power the game console but the tv too!.

Nanotechnology has found a way to convert even biomechanical motion into electricity and it can convert any mechanical disturbance into electric current.

Read all about it here

As the annoying T'Esco commercial says "every little helps". When it comes to reducing greenhouse gases and self energising gadgets will have a small impact on climate change.

Climate change is the result of dirty polution and thoughtless economic expansion. Little regard to sustainable development in the past now presents huge climate change issues. Industrial growth and profit driven developments have always shunted the green movement aside dismissing environmentalists as being dirty hippies who don't understand progress.

Oxfam are committed to bringing climate change to the top of the agenda and need our support. You can make a charity donation direct to the climate change section of the site or alternatively donate to the organisation via the justgiving climate change page.

Dirty Hoes and Old TVs | Dumping for Joy

2009-01-12T07:40:00.001-08:00

Dump run leads to dirty hoe fun

The post Christmas dump run is one of those jobs brought a pleasing vision that left me dumping for joy.

My local recycling centre aka Dump always has something of interest to a keen eye this visit - 100's of hoes all waiting to begin their grubby soil teasing ways in the hands of dirty gardeners.

Have you tried to dispose of an old television recently?

As more and more people are preparing to receive digital TV there is now a glut of old style TVs that no-one wants. Not so long ago TVs were high on the house burglar's list of easy to sell stuff but now you can't give 'em away - charity shops are now reluctant to take them so phone first if you are thinking about donating your old TV.

The continuing arrival of improved LCD TVs and High Definition televisions has made the old CRT models obsolete.

Weird to see a whole stack of Lloyds blood pressure monitors and other assorted home medical equipment. Lloyds Pharmacy hasn't been reported as going into administration along with so many other high street shops. Maybe one to many bad reviews on Money Saving Expert lead a Lloyds Manager to bin them.

Dirty Toys for Fat Girls & Dirty Boys

2008-12-12T03:18:00.000-08:00

Toy time: Dirty Jugs' list of the top Dirty Toys for 2008.

Sorry to disappoint but this post will not include "adult toys" although there will be an opportunity to slip a few of these in before the year is out. Below are a selection of children's toys that are fat becoming must have toys for Christmas 2008.

Dirty Ronald McDonald

First up is the fast food chain McDonald's "playset" This comes complete with a simulated McDonalds Cash Register, badge, food microphone and mop so you can work your way up the dirty job career ladder earning the converted stars as you go. The electronic till comes complete with play food but for a more realistic experience why not bring in a Mac Meal or two so the reek of luke warm dirty food can combine with sounds from the cash register (a very realistic 'beep' and some buttons make the till pronounce various items on the menu, to help you truly believe your in Golden Arches heaven.

If you'd rather not support Ronald what about Terry?

Terry the Tourettes Turtle is fantastic toy that is aimed at raising awareness of Tourettes Syndrome - when sufferers have little control of outburst of speech and noises. Accurately mimicking the whistles and squarks, Terry Turtle also has an extensive filthy dirty vocabulary which is randomly unleashed.

Terry Turtle is ideal for helping young impressionable children to understand the complexities of tourettes and consider ways of helping - by joining in!

Banking Toys

Parents who want their children to get a head start on their careers can give a fun educational toy that will begin to stimulate the childs mind to consider the world of banking. Being a 'Banker' these days is considered to be a dirty word but there's little doubt that the corporate treasury systems staff of tomorrow will have bit their teeth on playing with educational toys such as Fish Bank and will have dirty fiscal ticks up their sleeve.

Dirty Cheats on the Game

2008-11-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

Why oh why oh why...

...do people spend good money on the latest video games and then immediately search for "cheats"?

The new gaming sensation Nintendo Wii appeared to have approached the gaming set with colour, music and fun. No hardcore war and shoot em ups here - just jolly old favourites from previous Nintendo consoles. The Nintendo DS classic Mario Kart was re-vamped and now you can pick up Mario Kart with Wii Wheel and have good clean driving fun with friends and family. But evenn this innocent game has entire websites dedicated to being a dirty cheat. Wii Cheat Mario Kart offers ludicrous methods of enhancing your game experience whilst you fiddle and twist the wireless wheel controller.

The Mario Car game reminded me of a particularly dirty off road experience we had when the land rover we got from the local car hire firm got stuck in a dirty big puddle only in real life when your car gets stuck you have to evacuate and struggle through the mud before you can phone and wait for four hours to get rescued.

Want to play sport and get fit without getting dirty? The Nintendo Wii Sport pack lets you take part in lots of different activities without even going outside and lately all the rage amongst the chattering classes is the hype surrounding the wii fit game.

Get Fit and Lose Weight - the Dirty Cheats Wii Way

Nintendo's marketing has to be admired - it draws couch potatoes into the false belief that although they rarely leave the house to do proper exercise they WILL successfully get fit and shed pounds whilst standing on a small board in front of their TV. Even in the light of many who try to expose the wii fit as silly fad not to be bothered with by showing funny wii fit video clips the game is set to be one of the fastest sellers ever with stock shortages expected any time soon.

Dirty Girls Fart in Face

2008-10-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

After reading the latest research that suggests playing nintendo wii games such as wii fit is considered to be sufficient exercise without having to go outside and get dirty we decided to probe further.

Wii fit is the answer for maintaining at least some sort of exercise regime during the dark winter months. Why go outside in the cold and wet only to return filthy and dirty when you can stand in front of your high definition TV and play wii sports, work up a sweat on the wii guitar hero 3 or complete a sequence of simple mundane things whilst barely moving with this incredible yet funny wii fit game.

On the back of wii fit and the news that farting can lower blood pressure we are anticipating a pre christmas rush for the latest wii games including wii fart and wii wee

Well if farting lowers blood pressure the dirty girls farting in this video should take it easy otherwise they'll be out cold as a result of hypotension or low blood pressure

The efforts these dirty girls put into their farts is impressive - we only hope that the strains don't stain.

Land Rover Freelander - Not so Dirty

2008-10-08T02:46:00.000-07:00

It is with mixed emotions that we have to report the reduction of Dirty emissions from the Land Rover Freelander.

Previously we have gleefully enthused in posts such as Freelander is Back just how dirty the 4x4 can be and were delighted when the opportunity to feature dirty jodhpur clad posh totty promoting land rover came our way and although Dirty Jugs didn't have an exclusive on this we do believe we focussed on the main issue.

It is unsurprising that team D J is a little taken aback with the latest press release from Land Rover announced that the new Freelander features a revolutionary Stop Start system that not only improves fuel efficiency but reduces CO2 emissions.

Time for My Freelander to brush up on the Stop Start technology to add more helpful instructions to owners that want to maintain and service their Freelander themselves.

The crux of Stop-Start is that the engine reacts when it suspect that it is not needed - when the vehicle is standing in traffic, in neutral and the clutch out it simple shuts itself off. Any indication that the driver wants to resume the journey - hey presto it starts again - thereby elimintating unecessary pollution and saving fuel.

Land Rover Go Beyond

Clean your dirty laptop

2008-09-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a video that shows how to clean your laptop that will hopefully reduce the chance of running into problems:

We at dirty jugs wanted to sniff out other dirty laptop solutions and here is a hand picked selection of blog posts

Compare Laptops

Clearly from the selected posts listed here laptops can get very dirty - the increasing amount of titillation is cited as the most common reason for a stick laptop.

Then there are those below who have all experienced the nightmare of cleaning a sticky mess when popping open fizzy drinks

Finally this collection of posts happily try to suggest that you look for an easy clean screen so you only have to clean your laptop occasionally (barring any major spillages)

Squids In - Squidoo or Squidon't

2008-09-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

Squidoo

What a generous chap Seth Godin is. He founded Squidoo - a community website that boasts membership of Top 500 most visited sites in the World (July 2008). Seth launched Squidoo in March 2006 to allow users to create pages about which they have specialist knowledge. Squidoo grew quickly as experts and laymen alike jostled to add their 'lens' for the world to view.

Only a few months following launch thousands of lenses were available covering subjects as diverse as Motorhead to Blood Pressure Monitors to Laptop Bags

Lensmasters are encouraged to add Squidoo Modules to monetise their lenses - revenue is split 50% to lensmasters (an option is for this to all be donated to charity) 5% charity and the remaining 45% to fund Squidoo.

The opportunity to create highly relevant pages soon attracted the attention of online marketeers and spammers. Following a noticeable drop in the strength of squidoo links and the diminishing impact of these links on search positions Squidoo introduced a 'freshness' requirement in the hope that fly by night chancers would let their page gather dust resulting in it no longer being publicly displayed.

Squidoo remains a valuable source of information albeit commercially orientated currently consisting of over half a million hand built pages - every day a lens is selected as lens of the day and announced by email to all members.

A recent mailshot focused on the lens Littmann Stethoscopes and offered help for medical students looking to buy their first stethoscope. Combining product information about Littmann Stethoscopes along with contextual adverts for e bay and Amazon visitors were able to compare prices and choose a Littmann Stethoscope that would be acceptable for medical training.

Squiddylicious.

Dirty Web Pages - Online Threats

2008-08-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

One in a thousand web pages are dirty - attempting to install malicious nasties on innocent computers and laptops whilst browsing the web.

This post offered some solutions to keep your pc healthy and here we discuss more methods available such as special security software that is designed to prevent the dirty web pages from unloading their beastliness - usually a well configured firewall software setting does the trick but the dirty minds behind all this nonsense are continually looking for innovative methods to spoil or should that be soil our internet experience.

Should the firewall fail to stop the bugs or more likely the computer becomes "infected" by opening a dirty file - either copied or an email attachment then the latest antivirus software should be able to follow the dirty tracks and make good.

Huge amount of comment spam and sites like is it dirty offer to eliminate the bad stuff but are as trustworthy as a high street bank who when offering a great deal with a new current account get upset when folk beat the bankers

Its a Knockout - Dirty Fun

2008-07-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

Sneeked a peek at Nothing Interesting's latest post which mentioned the one off charity fundraiser - It's a Royal Knockout and it brought back happy memories of the hilarious show that enthralled family audiences for many years. The wheezing dirty laugh of Stuart Hall - guessing when Eddie Warring would manage to squeeze in his dirty "up and under" line.

The office summer bash looms to - hmm will it be another meal and drinks "do" - or could our dirty work be rewarded by something more stimulating? The answer could be an Its a Knockout Corporate Team Building event.

And my goodness - what a lot of sites are trying to tempt you with their Its a Knockout events

Take the staff away for a fun filled knockout event and they will return to their desks and get on with the job Sites such as Its a Knockout Hen Stag Corporate stuff list all the available games along with the Inflatables and Costumes to choose from - including Penguin Pursuit, Todger Tennis, Slippery Summit and Jolly Joust!

But hang on a cotton pickin' moment....

The site then quickly loses focus of the fun and begins its corporate training, executive coach guff with statements such as

"Good teamwork brings results; it is the core of organisational effectiveness"
"To help people who work together to function more effectively in teams and to assist the team itself to work effectively as a whole."
"Teambuilding attempts to provide groups with the information and incentives they need to manage themselves effectively".

Now that's a dirty trick to pull on all those with fond memories of television treats.

Dirty Jodhpurs Posh Totty

2008-07-16T04:16:00.000-07:00

Tony Robinson (Baldrick)'s series crap jobs deals with the dirty jobs from yester-year - the workers in the middle ages really did some dirty work - but what of the work on offer today?

Previously we dished the dirt on some dirty work that the jobs uk site offered. Now further investigations reveal its not just the working class that do the dirty work but posh dirty jodhpurs wearing totty are involved in some deeply dirty advertising campaigns.

Take the poor actor that landed this role in a advertising campaign to raise awareness of the British Olympic Eventing team. He breaks off from his football games, splashes on some aftershave and tries his chances with Posh Totty - Jodhpurs clad Zara Philips - who remains silent letting her horse demonstrate their disdain by blowing a huge dirty dollop of horse snot onto the young 'uns face - it si downright dirty and disgusting however the media agency behind it think it will become viral - they have the nerve to say so in their release.

Zara is infact advertising Land Rover as being a sponsor of the British Olympic Eventing team - wesupporteventing.com and this follows on from previous adverts in which we see posh totty Zara astride a freelander building brand confidence and lining her dirty jodhpurs pockets.

Dirty Pair - Ant and Dec Cheat Again

2008-07-04T08:27:00.000-07:00

The happy smiling faces of ant AND dec once again are in the spotlight. This time they've managed to bring the South Wests finest troupe of be-smocked tub thumpers into disrepute with a scandalous "fix it" on their desperate saturday evening so called entertainment show. The Dirty Pair and they have now become labeled claim innocence via a third party.

A spokesman for ant AND dec said: "They absolutely know nothing about any claims of fakery during The Wurzels' slot."

For a couple of geordies with the gift of the gab mind, the Dirty Pair have to speak to the media through a spokesman.

Dirty Dirty Dirty!

Dirty Jobs - Filthy Pay

2008-06-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

A moderately interesting post over at The Shelf that explores the current jobs situation as the credit crunch begins to bite and makes reference to various surveys taken by online UK job sites that reveals the astonishing number of UK workers who not only are unhappy with salary but with their jobs too.

Many low paid jobs are down right dirty jobs - agricultural workers sowing and harvesting crops, back room catering staff and local authority refuse and hygiene technicians all survive on meagre wages yet deal with dirt on a daily basis.

Not surprisingly a significant proportion of these workers are unhappy with the amount of money they earn believing themselves to be underpaid.

The fear of losing their work is cited as a primary reason for never having asked for a pay review and unsurprisingly well over a third claim never to have had a pay rise in their current dirty job.

The research also highlights what could be viewed as either healthy movement in the jobs market or a ticking time bomb as 75% of workers said they would not expect to earn their ideal wage in their current job. Registrations at online specialist and general recruitment agencies has dramatically increased with job hunters signing up to rss feeds to be first to learn about latest vacancies that offer opportunities to improve their wage and working environment extracting themselves from the dirty job market.

Dirty but Safe

2008-06-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

The debate about the ethics of off road driving drags on and on but there's one thing you can't fault - the safety of these technologically advanced SUV's. Landrover's market leading compact SUV the Land Rover Freelander boasts many awards including the Euroncap 5 stars for the safety features fitted as standard to a freelander.

At the top end of the spectrum Range Rovers may well appear to be menacing monsters on the highway, but get them off road and they transform into super controlled smooth easy riders - taking advantage of traction control, descent restrictors and quick to react differential changes.

All in all a dirty ride doesn't have top be perilous especially when the "all terrain dial" is set to filthy dirty muddy deep do do.

Freelander a Dirty, Mean Driving Machine

2008-05-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

No Moaning - the Freelander is Back

The patented "Terrain Response" technology behind the Freelander is a system that intelligently controls the drive of vehicle depending on what terrain setting the driver chooses. Ideally suited to novice off roaders and light weights it is a dirty techno trick to give the illusion of performance driving.

Grass, Sand, Ice-Cream Mountains and Dirty Filthy Mud are amongst the choices that the driver can select to improve the driving performance and you can find out much more on the landrover official website - introduction to freelander where you can learn more baout the exterior, engines and add-ons.

Daily newspaper The Independent test drove Land Rovers Freelander and Dave Gonnad concluded that to hims amazement 'they just keep getting better' - clearly Mr Gionnad

Meatheads at Muscle Cars are over the moon too - heralding the 2008 freelander as a formidable vehicle with top HSE marks and awarded the Freelander the Yahoo accolade of being an excellent buy.

All in all the Freelander is doing well to shake of its doubted reputation and it is expected that the moaning minnies will be silenced

Cleaning Dirty Window Blinds

2008-05-23T02:21:00.001-07:00

Thanks to social networking sites and especially video communities such as Video Jug - a life on film there are many places to search for "how to" information. We weren't surprised to find a blinds fan base on facebook

In our on going series to help you tackle the annual chore of spring cleaning the home we now turn out attention to windows. Again hopefully the filthy dirty weather of winter is over and the windows get a proper cleaning outside - gleaming panes are a treat indeed when they catch the sunlight as you approach your house. But don't neglect the inside of the windows. As mentioned previously curtains can be dry-cleaned or replaced but what about those who have chosen to hang blinds to the inside of their windows?

Cleaning Blinds:

Vertical Blinds

Vertical Blinds are perhaps the easiest blinds to clean and look after. The slats of vertical blinds as opposed to horizontal won't gather dust in the same way horizontal blinds do. Occasional gentle dusting is usually all that is required. If they are a vinyl they can be cleaned with a mild cleaner such as Audace's vertical blinds detergent or Fantastic Splastic. If the blind slats are Vinyl these can be Ultrasonically cleaned.

Venetian Blinds

As opposed to vertical blinds Venetian blinds are prone to gather dust due to the nature of the open slats being arranged horizontally.

If you have lots of Venetian blinds or the ones you have cover large expanses of window you'll probably begin to think about replacing them with alternatives as the prospect of cleaning each individual slat becomes more and more daunting.

So irksome is the task that there are even Wiki articles dedicated to cleaning venetian blinds.

This video - "How to Clean Venetian Blinds offers some insight but cannot avoid the issue of each slat being tackled.

What about really dirty Venetian Blinds?

Of course sometimes venetian blinds are hung in inappropriate rooms such as bathrooms and kitchens where moisture and cooking grease will spoil them quickly.

The lady in the video concludes that if the blinds are really dirty you can soak them in a mild detergent in the bath....hmmm we think that tangles and mis-shaping will result and if the blinds are really really dirty then it may be worth once again considering replacing them with another set of blinds

Wooden Blinds

Finally cleaning wooden blinds - again our video demonstrator offers good advice and tips - vacuum and dust with a DRY cloth (wet clothes will ruin wooden blinds), furniture polish, lineament oil to make them look shiny and new.

Dirty House - Bedroom Spring Cleaning Short Cuts

2008-05-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

With the unpredictable weather in May many people find it the ideal time to give the home 'a good seeing to' and begin their spring cleaning. It makes sense to wait until dirty, smokey fires are no longer lit before tackling the 'big job' of giving the house a proper deep clean.

Most people start with high expectations about thoroughly cleaning the house "from top to bottom" but once the enormity of the task hits home are happy to consider shortcuts and corner cutting.

Top Tips and Short Cuts for Spring Cleaning in the Bedroom

The logical place to start would be of course the bedroom. Apart from a 'good going over' with a vacuum and perhaps decorating what better way to spruce up this room than 'splashing out' on new bedding and matching curtains? Well chosen luxury, high quality bedding sets not only look great but quality bedding also helps better sleep. There is no excuse for not finding an attractive duvet cover or set of bedclothes - superstars are now queuing up to putt their names to bedding - offering the crass marketing message of Get into bed with #name of celebrity#. Kylie Minogue launched an interesting piece of branding possibly with the intent of covering the "dirty pants" image that the established incontinence products had become famous for with her Kylie at Home Duvets Bedding sets and adding a twist to the strap line "slip between the sheets with Kylie"

You can find curtain fabrics that either match or compliment your bedding and depending on your level of skill run up your own designs or alternatively choose a set of ready made curtains to create a whole new look for your boudoir. A whole lot easier that arranging for the curtains to be dry cleaned or risking danger of ruining them cleaning them yourself.

Another consideration in the pursuit of a good nights kip would be to install blackout blinds as an alternative to curtains.

There - Spring Cleaning the bedroom is easy - just clean it as normal then replace the bed linen and curtains to give the bedroom a fresh clean feel.

Dirty Job Done

Ferret Rescue at The Land Rover World Show!

2008-05-13T03:03:00.000-07:00

This year the Land Rover World Show has stacks events with hundreds of top Land Rover Sales and all terrain dealers and traders, popular Landrover clubs and sideshows (Bob?), attractions and surprises for the whole family.

The original Land Rover was unveiled at a motor show in Amsterdam on April 30, 1948.

Organisers are keen to encourage Prince Charles to come and join the celebrations of Land rovers 60th anniversary. It is known that his royal Highness will visit the Land Rover factory in Solihull so hopefully a trip to deepest Herefordshire can be arranged

Not to be missed is Broadway Ferret Rescue who'll be on hand to explain about the work they do looking after the rescued ferrets and letting you "have a feel". Yorkshire Tikes be warned security cameras are fitted to the furry ferret heads and will broadcast live to the big screen any down trouser activity.

Land rover owners hold the view that there is no better place to get your wheels muddy than at
Eastnor Castle which has some of the greatest off-road routes in the country.

Enthusiasts will have opportunity to get behind the wheel and demonstrate their driving skills to perfection with the choice of three self drive routes, ranging in difficulty from mild to extreme.

Land Rovers available to try include:-

Defender

Freelander

Discovery

Range Rover

For a small donation to charity Born Free you can let an expert take you round purpose built tracks in a top of the range.. erm.. Range Rover and shown the capability of one of these top off road vehicles.

Sticky Mess - It sprayed all over the place

2008-04-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

One to share here - a land rover driving, pasty munching, country bumpkin has posted a set of detailed instructions about how to make elderflower champagne or "fizz".

It appears to be really easy requiring only a few elderflower heads, water, two lemons a bag of sugar and some wine vinegar - mix together, leave for a full day and bottle - job done.

What's the catch? Beware of explosions

Weeeelll it seems that elderflower pop is notoriously volatile and you will read many accounts of glass bottles blowing up, corks popping and plastic (pet) bottles exploding all resulting in one hell of a sticky mess.

Its all very well these rural folks spreading the delights of farmhouse recipes, nonchalantly laughing off the BOOM factor and resulting sticky mess, but what saving is there if the odd explosion wrecks a pair of new curtains and creates a sticky mess that needs cleaning.

It seems the over excitement and excessive effervescence of the drink is due to fermentation - the natural yeast on the elderflower reacts with the sugar to make carbon dioxide and alcohol.

Could this be a new method of making biofuel? I read about a landrover being driven on banana oil for thousands of miles see wiki landrover "history" (it must therefore be true) so it wouldn't be so extraordinary if we see elderflower gas coming to a filling station near you?

Filthy Dirty Land Rovers

2008-04-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

Land rovers drivers wallow in their own mud.

Forums such as the mud club, mud flapper, dirtland, flithy dirty, deep down dirty all sing praise to the glory of mud. Why have the ultimate all terrain vehicle if you can't "chuck some muck" on it every now and then?

Landrover Video

and

Goodbye, Farewell, Ta Ta Land Rover

2008-03-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

All good things must come to an end and so the final curtain falls for troubled British Vehicle Manufacturer Land Rover. The last nails are being hammered into the coffin. After a painful time being "run" by US car giant Ford, Land Rover is changing hands to the Indian Joke Car Company Tata - they who make the "cheapest, smallest, crapest cars in the world" - some boast.

So farewell Landy - the boys on the Land Rover Forum have created this video of the land rover defender going "off Road" and even begun a call to action on the BBC - BBC Action land Rover Best of British.

It only takes a vscan through the pages of Land Rover's Magazine to see the passion that enthusiasts have for this All Terrain Superstar.

If you want to own your very own landy check out the available models of land rovers but beware these models were probably made in China

Land rover carbon offset

2008-03-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

In 2006 Land Rover launched a pioneering CO₂ offset scheme in the UK. Part of an integrated approach including investment in sustainable technologies and working with global conservation and humanitarian organisations, Land Rover is the only 4WD manufacturer to offer this comprehensive scheme.

The CO₂ emissions of all new Land Rover vehicles sold in the UK are offset for the first 45,000 miles of use. Managed by Climate Care our New Vehicle Offset Programme invests in a specific range of Land Rover-funded alternative energy projects around the world including: Hydropower Tajikistan and Wind energy in China. The new vehicle programme is now being expanded to customers in other countries initially including Norway, Sweden and Belgium.

Land Rover also offset the emissions produced from the manufacturing assembly of our vehicles at our two production facilities, Solihull in the West Midlands and Halewood in the north west of England.

As part of our integrated CO₂ approach , the Land Rover G4 Challenge and the Land Rover sales and service facilities and Experience Centres in the UK, all have their CO₂ emissions offset by Climate Care.

CO₂ offsetting works by funding (investment) in projects that avoid or reduce CO₂ emissions ensuring that the amount saved balances the original emissions. The Land Rover CO₂ Offset Programme invests in 3 key offset project types:

Renewable energy: Replacing non renewable fossil fuels with renewable energy sources such as solar and wind.

Technology change: Promoting the use of new technologies that avoid or reduce CO₂ emissions.

Energy efficiency: Improving efficiency in energy consumption for communities and industry alike.

Many of these projects deliver additional environmental and social benefits such as conserving wildlife habitats and species, and providing employment for the local communities.

All of the projects funded go through a rigorous process of verification and validation to ensure and demonstrate the CO₂ emissions offsets achieved.

Take Care of Your Jugs

2008-02-21T02:25:00.000-08:00

The following snippet appeared recently in BT's in house magazine - "UK Broadband - Dirt Cheap and Ultra Fast Speeds"

A simple oversight such as forgetting to check the office coffee machine has been switched off in the evening can leave you red faced the next day.

Recovery from the one pot dilemma is easily achieved - a quick visit to an online coffee machine guide then get the best online deal at price comparison site and within minutes your credit card transaction will be complete and a replacement dispatched.