Dirty Vans - Van Man Joke

Dirty Vans

Time for a closer look at vans to get a fuller picture of the dirty van man and his jokes.

The best two van jokes have to be "clean me" and the ever delightful - "I wish my missus was as dirty as this"

We were chuffed to bits to see that our obsession with all things dirty is shared elsewhere on the world vide veb - http://www.dirtyvan.com/ - in a brave attempt to get on the user generated content band wagon this site encourages visitors to contribute photos of dirty vans - and what a selection there is already - FOURTEEN photos - although it has to be noted that there is a mucky car or two amongst them. We wish the site well and shall be offering our best picture of a dirty van soon.

There's also a funny sign section too but the site is in a frame (rofl) so you'll have to navigate there yourself.

Hire a Van and get it Dirty

One way to enjoy the attention a dirty van attracts is to hire one for a few days. Like car rental van hire companies are obliged to issue their vehicles in a clean and tidy condition. What better way to get full value for money from your van hire than to return the van in a completely filthy dirty state - they can't charge you extra for cleaning - but cancel your card first just in case.

Van Man Joke

Did you hear the one about an ice-cream van driver who was found lying dead in a pool of raspberry syrup covered in chopped nuts and chocolate bits. It appeared that he topped himself.

More vans jokes here

Avoid Dirty Swimwear - Carefully Apply Suntan Lotion

Suntan lotion and new swimwear

So you've booked a well earned holiday and are lookng forward to relaxing by the pool or taking a dip in the clear blue seas on a far away beach holiday. Time for buying those essential holiday items - suntan lotion and new swimwear.

You may have read smart advice about sun protection - especially if the swimwear you are going to wear is very "dirty" revealing more than you would say sunbathing in a park - the latest fashions for thong bikinis and strings are more like sexy lingerie than swimming costumes.

Dirty Squirty

Be careful where you squirt your suntan lotion - swimwear is easily stained by blobs of oil that didn't get rubbed in properly. The last thing you want to be noticed for is a dirty greasy gusset encrusted with sand. One smart idea we learned from the swimsuit issue models is to use once a day p20 sunfilter which you can apply first thing in the morning while you are completely naked and once it has been absorbed you can slip on any garments you like without fearing them getting dirty.

Big brand name suntan lotion may smell wonderful and feel luxurious to apply but at the end of the day they are generally ineffective pots gloop with designer price tags.

Designer women's swimwear

Like all things stylish swimwear comes at a price - checking out the latest boutiques reveals that the skimpyer the swimming costume the higher the price. Women's swimwear is another fantasy for designers and fashinistas to drool over. Each year new ranges are modeled by girls who make them look amazing and encouraging sales to women who in the harsh light of the changing room, begin to feel insecure in comparison to the catwalk girls. Failure to have a bikini wax and mis-application of fake tan lotion take their toll making the most sophisticated swimsuit look like a cheap tarts dirty playsuit.

Swimmers playing dirty tricks

Once all you needed to compete in a swimming race was a pair of trunks for him and a one-piece swimming costume for her but now in the pursuit of speed the trend for aquadynamic swimwear such as bodysuits

Such costumes should be banished and swimming contests judged on more than simply speed - consideration as to cut, flair and pattern of outfit along with attention to the type of material used.