Nigella Talks Dirty at Christmas

Nigella Talks Dirty While Getting Excited about Christmas

Funny video of nigella talking dirty at Christmas.

From dirty thoughts we turn to a helathy Christams dinner and there is a natural association between Christmas and Nigella the Kitchen Godess.

Here we see a rare video of Nigella creating in a stir as she talks dirty whilst in her kitchen.

Get Down and Dirty | Dirty Dancing Video

Summers over but there's no reason that the party has to stop. See how dancers from around keep hip to the beat in this dirty dancing video.

Move over Swazee make room on the dancefloor for dirty movers and shakers who strut their stuff in unusual places. Beaches in Denmark floors in Chicago, Zug Switzerland.



From crazy puppet like moves in tunnels to the lunchtime prantics in a Marbella car hire office this dirty dancing video celebrates the energy and grace of dancers everywhere.

Dirty Waste With Amanda Holden

Amanda Holden takes a trip down Waste Street to check out how wuch dirty waste can be recycled.

Dirty Food - Eating on Public Transport

Dirty Eating Habits on Public Transport

Eating and drinking on public transport should be a total no-no ... it's whiffy, unsightly, gooey and fantastically dirty unncessary ...

None of these grub munchers are really desperately hungry, they just feel like eating something ... no way is it essential to do it in confined, crowded spaces like buses or tubes ...

They've just got to organise their time better (get up early enough to eat before leaving the house) and plan their day more effectively; and even if a meal has been missed because of their incompetence or poor time-management ... well, just wait (it's not difficult, really) until the journey's finished...

What no-one seems to have pointed out here is that while on buses eating and drinking can be a bit annoying, on the tube left-over food attracts vermin, which is an actual health hazard. Most tube stations seem to have at least a few mice (some smell strongly of them), and I suspect that the only reason we don't see rats is that they are rather more shy.

What about cracking open a Christmas Hamper?

However there are special occasions when food and drink can be consumed. For example take a weary Christmas shopper returning with the spoils of festive retail merriment. In a moment of reflection the shopper could crak open one of their gifts - christmas hampers would be ideal - and share the luxury and joy of the present

Bottom line - ban cooked or smelly food from public transport or at least show some consideration for those around you. Fine people who leave their litter on buses or trains or give courts the power to make them serve some kind of unpaid community service clearing the mess left by wrappers and spilt sticky drinks on public transport.

Dress Dirty - Talk Dirty

David Cameron is reported to have delivered a romantic gesture to his wife, Samantha, during this speach at the conservative conference.

Romantic Gesture - Or Just Talking Dirty

The draft of this paradoy speech we saw was more like dirty talk - saying how he wanted to see her wearing cheap high street dresses preferably without wearing and knickers and reeking of cheap perfume.

This outburst has set the high streets on fire - dirty fake perfume shops now proudly boast tarts boudoir scents and Marks n Sparks with one of their dresses being worn by Samantha Cameron during the conservative conference now fill their high street windows with similar dresses and sexy lingerie.

Dirty Talk
There's much in the news recently about cleaning up our foul language - by this we assume will not include the wonderful ways of words we have when it comes to dirty talk.

The Dirty Duck - Heston's Dirty Joke - Made You Look

The vast majority of food poisoning cases are actually from poorly washed raw veg and salads. The single greatest cause of take-away related food poisoning is from re-heated rice, which has a specific and violently unpleasant bacterium.

Dirty Duck?

Am I the only person to have noticed the really bad bit of prose in Heston Blumenthal's 'apology' for the outbreak of dirtiness or whatever it was that apparently left a lot of people ill with sickness and diarrhoea ?

He actually said "I wish to invite them all to return to the Dirty Duck at their convenience". Wasn't the problem that they'd been almost glued to their conveniences ?

Is the man just stupid, or was he taking the mickey ? Shame he tried to cast doubt on the quality of the HPA report and ignored the bits about continuous contamination at his restaurant, sick staff being allowed to continue to work, and flawed dirty procedures.

Dirty Duck - Made you Look!

Modern Warfare 2 - Dirty Price Warfare

Modern Price Warfare

The eagerly awaited price war for Modern Warfare 2 has officially begun. Price comparison sites are going into meltdown trying to reflect the true sale price of the latest Infinity Ward Call of Duty game.

The cheapest modern warfare 2 xbox 360 is running neck and neck with the Playstation version of the game each price adjustment made by the retailers is only pennies - purely to make it to that coverted position of cheapest modern warfare 2 game available to pre-order

Bizarre that although the game is still awaiting official release in Novemeber a selection of collectors editions are now available to pre-order. Under the guise of "Hardened" volume a collector version of modern warfare 2 PS3 - Limited Edition - is almost twice the price of the what may be renamed "boring" version.

So forget paintball - go stuff a stick of dynamite down your combat trousers and grab a deal for the latest Call of Duty game and while away the time until Christmas bring you more interesting gifts

Empty Jug - Another Dirty Trick in the Office Kitchen

Following the empty butter wrapper debacle imagine our surprise to see this empty jug sat proudly in the fridge today.

Waste not want not - just a few drops of milk left - dilligently put it back inthe fridge for the next thirsty brewmaker.

Dirty Butter Wrapper Why oh Why oh Why?

One for all the kitchen nazis - thanks so much for leaving some butter for the next person and taking the trouble to leave a knife handy.

Full marks for the consideration shown by the last person to use this butter:



If you look closely there is probably a chance you could scrape enough butter to make an ant sized sandwich.

Dirty butter wrapper - why oh why oh why?

Dirty Downloaders Workplace Warnings

Dirty Downloaders Warning at Work

You've all probably had the memo about piracy and file sharing:

Not only is this activity illegal, it is also commercially damaging and embarrassing for the company.

If you are caught misusing the company network for illegal activities, not only will this result in disciplinary procedure, but may also result in a criminal prosecution

Does the government or corporations seriously think that, had nobody ever shared files, that they would have actually bought the digital media that everyone now has?

Of course not. Everyone would have the usual 20 albums or so that they had back in the pre digital days.

People have better things to spend their money on than large amounts of digital media. If it had to be paid for, a massive, massive number of people would simply do without it - as they do anything else expensive that's a luxury.

My bet is that the massive computer industry has grown in part because of the ease of access of free media.

Why is it that ISPs give customers an allowance of, say 10GB per month to downloaded if they are not implicitly acknowledging that file-sharing takes place? What else are people dowloading other than moving image or audio files? I suppose you could argue that most of these are not copyrighted.

A music related point - having bought the vinyl, then the pre-recorded tape, then the CD, then the re-mastered CD, then the' legacy edition' with bonus disc - how many times are we expected to pay for essentially the same product?

Is downloading an avi file of a recently broadcast television programme that's not available for commercial purchase, then burning it onto a dvd for your own use or watching it on your laptop, essentially that different from recording on a VCR? Am I now supposed to buy expensive Blu ray discs to replace DVD as well?

I don't think the media industry loses that much money, no-one's got any more to spend - its just that the 'entertainment budget' goes to cable/satellite/internet providers rather than Sony/Universal etc - they should sort it out between themselves rather than trying to get the government criminsalise a large part of the population in order to protect dirty big businesses as they work out further ways to get our money.

Used Vans - Tricks to Sell Used Vans

Vans - Used Dirty Vans For Sale

Remember when we got down with the hilarious messages left on dirty vans, now it has come to our attention that many of the vans featured were not hired but cheap second hand vans.

Used vans often fail to attract a decent price - due to the obvious expecation that they have been mis-used by the tradesmen that previously owned them - as the time to change van approaches it is unlikely that the van will be well maintained and cleaned and it is destined to become just another of the many used vans up for grabs on the motoring auction sites.

Tricks to Sell Used Vans

Used car salesmen have a reputation for using sharp practice but the sale of used vans takes dirty tricks to a new level.

There is no price guide so think of a number - think about printing off some prices of similar models of van that are the same age or have smilar mileage to the van you arethinking about buying.

As vans are often stolen (primarily for their content - a typical self employed tradesman can have thousands of pounds worth of tools and equipment not to mention stock on board) so there vans are a target for crooks. Savvy van thieves out to make that extra income don't fail to miss a trick and will offer the stolen van for sale to save money disposing it. make sure the vpn matched the chassis and other documents that accompany the van.

Recently we read about a clever so and so that was buying used vans for one way trips in order to import and export a range of products between France and the UK. Cider was taken to Paris for Les Cidre Billy Francais while cheese and lingerie filled a van for the trip back to England. When asked if the cheese affected sales of the sexy lingerie the van man explained that it was easy to convince "those stupid English" that the latest en vougue style was for wearing sexy lingerie that had a cheesy whiff.

Frotage au fromage.

Dirty Books - Second Hand Books - Dirty Tricks

The sheer downright dirty nerve of some people never fails to amaze.

Reading this post about the sale of second hand books on the Telegraph anyone would think that Oxfam are an evil world conquoring organisation that is using mafia style dirty tricks to squeeze out the good booksellers from our high streets with unfair competition over the dirty book shops..

The fact that essential revenue is earned by the sale of second hand books in both Oxfam's high street shops and online through its charity gifts pages seems to have been completely overlooked - the focus instead being on poor old Pikey Pete and his mates trying to pull a fast one by buying dirt chep books and reslling them for the postage profits on Amazon Meerkatplace.

To be honest the thought of rummaging through heaps of dirty books isn't my cup of tea but for some it is bliss. The hope of discovering a first issue, rare classics or out of print collectible books is enough to tempt many into the wonders of dirty books.

Good luck on your hunt for more dirty books.

Dirty Vans - Van Man Joke

Dirty Vans

Time for a closer look at vans to get a fuller picture of the dirty van man and his jokes.

The best two van jokes have to be "clean me" and the ever delightful - "I wish my missus was as dirty as this"

We were chuffed to bits to see that our obsession with all things dirty is shared elsewhere on the world vide veb - http://www.dirtyvan.com/ - in a brave attempt to get on the user generated content band wagon this site encourages visitors to contribute photos of dirty vans - and what a selection there is already - FOURTEEN photos - although it has to be noted that there is a mucky car or two amongst them. We wish the site well and shall be offering our best picture of a dirty van soon.

There's also a funny sign section too but the site is in a frame (rofl) so you'll have to navigate there yourself.

Hire a Van and get it Dirty

One way to enjoy the attention a dirty van attracts is to hire one for a few days. Like car rental van hire companies are obliged to issue their vehicles in a clean and tidy condition. What better way to get full value for money from your van hire than to return the van in a completely filthy dirty state - they can't charge you extra for cleaning - but cancel your card first just in case.

Van Man Joke

Did you hear the one about an ice-cream van driver who was found lying dead in a pool of raspberry syrup covered in chopped nuts and chocolate bits. It appeared that he topped himself.

More vans jokes here

Avoid Dirty Swimwear - Carefully Apply Suntan Lotion

Suntan lotion and new swimwear

So you've booked a well earned holiday and are lookng forward to relaxing by the pool or taking a dip in the clear blue seas on a far away beach holiday. Time for buying those essential holiday items - suntan lotion and new swimwear.

You may have read smart advice about sun protection - especially if the swimwear you are going to wear is very "dirty" revealing more than you would say sunbathing in a park - the latest fashions for thong bikinis and strings are more like sexy lingerie than swimming costumes.

Dirty Squirty

Be careful where you squirt your suntan lotion - swimwear is easily stained by blobs of oil that didn't get rubbed in properly. The last thing you want to be noticed for is a dirty greasy gusset encrusted with sand. One smart idea we learned from the swimsuit issue models is to use once a day p20 sunfilter which you can apply first thing in the morning while you are completely naked and once it has been absorbed you can slip on any garments you like without fearing them getting dirty.

Big brand name suntan lotion may smell wonderful and feel luxurious to apply but at the end of the day they are generally ineffective pots gloop with designer price tags.

Designer women's swimwear

Like all things stylish swimwear comes at a price - checking out the latest boutiques reveals that the skimpyer the swimming costume the higher the price. Women's swimwear is another fantasy for designers and fashinistas to drool over. Each year new ranges are modeled by girls who make them look amazing and encouraging sales to women who in the harsh light of the changing room, begin to feel insecure in comparison to the catwalk girls. Failure to have a bikini wax and mis-application of fake tan lotion take their toll making the most sophisticated swimsuit look like a cheap tarts dirty playsuit.

Swimmers playing dirty tricks

Once all you needed to compete in a swimming race was a pair of trunks for him and a one-piece swimming costume for her but now in the pursuit of speed the trend for aquadynamic swimwear such as bodysuits

Such costumes should be banished and swimming contests judged on more than simply speed - consideration as to cut, flair and pattern of outfit along with attention to the type of material used.

Camping - a Dirty Weekend

Fancy a Dirty Weekend?

The offer of a dirty weekend is something not to be sniffed aand we recommend watching and paying close attention to Carry on Camping again as it is the essential guide to camping holidays in the UK.

Tales of festival camping wash-outs makes it necessary to make sure you have the right gear for a dirty night under the stars.

Knee deep in mud, sodden tents and and useless camping equipment can quickly spoil a camping holiday so here we suggest a couple of top tips for making sure you cna make the most of your dirty weekend with the right camping equipment.
Dirty Weekend Shopping List:

Camping Equipment

Tents - reports of safety concerns for cheap tents means its worth checking the safety certificate - it would be tragically ironic if during a wet spell you took shelter and tried to add romance to the tent by lighting a candle only to see it vanish in a flash of flames.

Of all the camping equipment you'll need a tent is not necessarily the most important piece of kit. Pedants might argue that without a tent you aren't really camping but for many a good night's sleep is more important than the thin sheet of fabric you scurry into.

Camp Beds - the prospect of flooding on UK camp sites is high so a good choice is an inflatable mattress or airbed. Self inflating airbeds are widely available and take the pain out of blowing up a mattress before you hit the sack and are becoming the camp bed of choice. Remember if your dirty weekend is going to be a success you'll need all the puff you can muster so consider these self inflating camp beds as a chance to escape the misery of sleeping in a very damp patch.

Baden Powell hit the nail on the head - be prepared - so in true boy scout mode we began looking around the internet for other handy things to help your camping trip go well.

Got a dog? Take the dog with you and treat them to a kennel tent- complete with an inflatable post for it to wee against. Even a man's best friend appreciates a few creature comforts and with the right camping equipment you can create a home from home.

Dirty Sofa - Prevent your sofa becoming filthy

Take Care of Your New Sofa - Don't let it become dirty

By Elena Price - The Dirty Furniture Detective

If you buy a good quality sofa, it should last for many years, but there are some things that you can do in order to make sure that your new sofa stands the test of time. The most important factor in caring for a sofa is to follow the instructions provided by the manufacturer – if there is any discrepancy between the information provided in this article and the instructions provided by the manufacturer of your new sofa, you should follow the manufacturer’s instructions. However, here are some general hints and tips on how to care for a sofa.

Dirty Leather Sofas

Leather sofas are very durable, but in order to keep your new leather sofa looking its best, clean it regularly using a damp cloth. You can use specialist leather cleaning products on your sofa, but should only use them every now and then. Never use any other cleaning products containing detergents or chemicals, or cleaning products which are alcohol-based on your sofa, as they may damage the leather.

If you spill something on your leather sofa, use a damp cloth immediately in order to ensure that it doesn’t stain. However, if this doesn’t do the trick, it’s best to call in a professional to clean the dirty sofa.

Prevent Fabric Sofas Becoming Dirty

The best way to keep a fabric sofa clean is to vacuum it regularly using the upholstery attachment on your vacuum cleaner. Avoid cleaning your sofa with a brush as this can damage some fabrics. When you are choosing a new fabric sofa, look for one which has cushions and seats with removable, washable covers, as this will make your sofa easy to clean. If you do have a sofa with washable covers, make sure that you wash them all at the same time in order to ensure that one cover doesn’t fade before the others.

Many furniture retailers sell sofas that are made using stain-resistant fabrics, so you may want to look for one like this. However, if you do spill something on your sofa, use a damp cloth to mop it up straight away and, as with leather sofas, you should avoid using cleaning products containing detergents or chemicals.

General Sofa Care Tips

Whether you choose a leather sofa or a fabric sofa, you should make sure that you position it away from direct heat or air conditioning. You should also keep your sofa and upholsterd furniture out of direct sunlight in order to prevent fading, although you can find some sofas on the market that are suitable for use in sunny rooms.

Avoid sitting on your sofa if your dirty clothes are damp as if your clothes aren’t colour-fast, they may stain the upholstery, and don’t leave newspapers on the sofa as the ink may stain it.

You should also try to ensure that you use all of the seats on your sofa – although many people have a seat that they sit in out of habit, this seat will become worn quicker than the others. You should also make sure that nobody sits on the arm of the sofa, as this could damage it.

If you are looking for a new sofa, then make sure you choose one that is high quality, as this will mean that it will last longer.

be sure to use a shopping price comparison site if the sofa you choose is from a big brand name of furniture manufacturer

If you are shopping for a new sofa online, you can check the product specifications of the sofa that you like in order to make ensure that it has any features that you want, such as washable covers or fade-resistant fabric.

Dirty Knickers Video

Dirty Knickers Video - Types of Knickers

In this video we learn about the different type of knickers available.

Most lingerie specialist offer matching bra and knicker sets but on the advice of those who know - leave the bra to be a personal purchase.

None of the knickers in this guide to types of knickers are dirty but they could be.

Dirty knickers Video

We all love sexy panties, but can you name these knickers?

Put a name to the face of these knickers.

French Knickers - oh la la

Parachute Knickers - rip cord

Dirty knickers - soiled pants.

Tanga Knickers - Brazillian chic

Loose Knickers - Everyone's favourite.

Lingerie Free - No Knickers? - How to Hide Your Gusset

Here is a video about how to preserve your modesty if you choose not to wear knickers. Those who go out with no knickers on leave themselves wide open for the dirty papz to glimps a flash of the gash - and snp the snatch.

In the following video no knickers aren't actually the target rather concealing a ladies lingerie garments whilst slipping out of a car seat - a tricky manoeuvre at the best of times but made considerably more difficult when wearing eleaborate lingerie and underwear. Thin thongs of flowing frnech knickers all throw up their own lingerie challenge.



What we find most amusing about this no knickers video is the setting - the back passage to an bleak industrial workshop or factory - hardly the romantic dinner date you'd expect from the stylish evening dress and luxurious lingerie being modelled.

Next in the Lingerie video series will be "why lingerie" a question half answered by those who wear no knickers.

Global Warming - Raising Awareness

Health Arguments for Climate Change

The health impact of climate change is a critical issue that policy-makers should be aware of while setting priorities for action and investment to mitigate the impact of global climate change. World Health Organisation WHO experts delivered this urgent message at this years Global Warming Risks, Challenges and Decisions conference in Copenhagen.

The Tree Badger has released a dirty great stonker of a video using footage from WoW and the background track of "Around the World" by Daft Funk that follows a WoW Machinima discovering global warming, which draws a parallel between what is happening on Earth and how this is visually reflected in Azeroth.

WHO has identified three key health arguments for stronger climate change measures:

Climate change has adverse consequences for health: as carbon goes up health goes down

Along with WHO the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and data identify risks to human health as a serious signal of the consequences of climate change and global warming of earth's natural processes. Health hazards from climate change are diverse, global and difficult to reverse over human time scales. The effects of global warming hits those least responsible for causing it They range from increased risks of extreme weather events, to effects on infectious disease dynamics and sea level rise leading to salinization of land and water sources.

Reducing green house gases emissions can be beneficial to health:

As carbon goes down health goes up

Feasible improvements in environmental conditions could reduce the global disease burden by more than 25%. A large part is linked to energy consumption and transport systems. Changing these systems to reduce climate change would have the added benefit of addressing some major public health issues, including outdoor air pollution (750 000 fatal each year); road accidents (over a million annual deaths) and physical inactivity and indoor air pollution which top 3 million deaths per year.

Based on WHO estimates around 150,000 deaths now occur in low-income countries each year due to climate change from four climate-sensitive health outcomes - crop failure and malnutrition, diarrhoeal disease, malaria and flooding.

Effective response requires global action

The health impacts of climate change are felt unequally. Whether it's excess deaths from the heat wave in Europe, or malarial deaths in central Africa, the people at greatest risk for climate-related health disorders and premature deaths are the poor, the geographically vulnerable, the very young, women and the elderly.

The populations considered to be at greatest risk are those living in small island developing states, mountainous regions, water-stressed areas, megacities and coastal areas in developing countries (particularly the large urban agglomerations in delta regions in Asia), and also poor people and those lacking access to health services.

Putting these three health arguments at the center of discussions at the forthcoming Conference of the Parties (COP-15) in Copenhagen later this year would ensure that in the new post-Kyoto agreement we will all share in the health and economic benefits that can accrue from countering climate change.

WHO will strive to achieve four objectives:

1. raising global awareness of these health arguments
2. making the health case for strong greenhouse gas reductions (mitigation) in all sectors (e.g., transport, housing, energy, agriculture) at national, regional and international levels
3. promoting and supporting the generation of scientific evidence
4. and strengthening health systems to cope with the health threat posed by climate change, including emergencies related to extreme weather events and sea-level rise.

WHO's member States have highlighted the importance of action to protect health from climate change. Countries have asked WHO to step up support for national and international efforts assess and address the systems.

Dirty Rats - Clean Green Energy - Rodent Power

Rodents Rock!

Will rodents help solve the world’s energy crisis and help slow down climate change?

A hamster wearing a special jacket is doing its own small part to provide a clean source of electricity that is renewable!

The secret of this clean energy is the nanogenerator which can be driven by motion, such tapping of fingers whlist typing vibration of vocal cords, sheets flapping in the wind, or gerbils running on exercise wheels.

Using the same nanotechnology, researchers have also generated electricity from finger power – moving the users of ipod touch, mobile phones and other handhelds closer to self powering.

If a device such as the iPod Touch can self propel then imagine how much surplus playing wii games could generate. The latest calculations reckon that half an hour of intermediate level wii fit should be able to not only power the game console but the tv too!.

Nanotechnology has found a way to convert even biomechanical motion into electricity and it can convert any mechanical disturbance into electric current.

Read all about it here

As the annoying T'Esco commercial says "every little helps". When it comes to reducing greenhouse gases and self energising gadgets will have a small impact on climate change.

Climate change is the result of dirty polution and thoughtless economic expansion. Little regard to sustainable development in the past now presents huge climate change issues. Industrial growth and profit driven developments have always shunted the green movement aside dismissing environmentalists as being dirty hippies who don't understand progress.

Oxfam are committed to bringing climate change to the top of the agenda and need our support. You can make a charity donation direct to the climate change section of the site or alternatively donate to the organisation via the justgiving climate change page.

Dirty Hoes and Old TVs | Dumping for Joy

Dump run leads to dirty hoe fun

The post Christmas dump run is one of those jobs brought a pleasing vision that left me dumping for joy.

My local recycling centre aka Dump always has something of interest to a keen eye this visit - 100's of hoes all waiting to begin their grubby soil teasing ways in the hands of dirty gardeners.

Have you tried to dispose of an old television recently?

As more and more people are preparing to receive digital TV there is now a glut of old style TVs that no-one wants. Not so long ago TVs were high on the house burglar's list of easy to sell stuff but now you can't give 'em away - charity shops are now reluctant to take them so phone first if you are thinking about donating your old TV.

The continuing arrival of improved LCD TVs and High Definition televisions has made the old CRT models obsolete.

Weird to see a whole stack of Lloyds blood pressure monitors and other assorted home medical equipment. Lloyds Pharmacy hasn't been reported as going into administration along with so many other high street shops. Maybe one to many bad reviews on Money Saving Expert lead a Lloyds Manager to bin them.